Sunday, March 09, 2008

So as it is with most big changes in my life . . . I have decided to move the location of my blog.

Feel free to continue to follow my story here . . .

I have thought often of returning to blogging in the last five or so months.

But it was only in reading an old blog entry, from at least three years ago, that made me feel like I had something worth sharing.

Life has been full of change and transition lately . . . I am learning and growing . . . simply experiencing my sometimes crazy and hectic life.

I wrote the below passage shortly after I met Mark Palmer online and was considering what my future was going to look like.

To me the passage is filled with hope . . . and it a hope I will gladly cling to right now.

All of the questions I have been asking needed to be asked. All of the things that I have been thinking, I needed to express them, and to keep expressing them. They are so essential to who I am becoming, to the disciple of Jesus I am becoming. I am exactly where I need to be at this moment in my life. If I have learned anything in the last two years, it is that each moment of my life, no matter how dark or hopeless or happy and filled with joy, comes at exactly the time it is meant too. Whether I feel down or not good enough, or like I am in the deepest valley ever, it is exactly where I am supposed to be. This is a journey, there are tons of different points, high low and inbetween. It is not always a matter of beating the depression or finding a quick happy fix, it is finding the meaning behind each moment. Especially the hurtful ones, the ones that cause you pain in the depth of your heart and the pit of your stomach, they are the ones that often mean the most, that teach you the most. It is about discovering why it is that you are there in that place, at that time. It is about taking in the experience, not obtaining perfection. This life is not about comparsions, it is about a personal spiritual journey towards the heart of God. About becoming a disciple of Jesus and fully understanding how much it costs.

Friday, November 30, 2007

When I made my way to Mexico in the beginning of the summer, I knew my time there would change me.

Many thought I would go to Mexico and decide not to return.

But I did return . . . and many things had changed for me while I was there.

However, they were not the changes that I anticipated . . . in fact I was very much surprised by what happened to me in Mexico.

I came home with a very strong desire to root myself into life here . . . in the US . . . in Ohio . . . in Columbus . . . in Franklinton.

I had no idea that rooting would partly come to pass in the purchasing of a home . . . but it did.

And now, at the age of twenty three . . . I am a homeowner.

There are so many things attached that . . . so many things that happened to bring that to pass . . . but those things can be talked about in conversations.

It would be fair to say that something very big has happened in my life in the last four months.

Something I don't know how to describe . . . other than to say things just "clicked".

My search for resurrection has come to an end.

I am now knee deep in the beautiful process of coming alive.

Be Peace.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

My life really could not be any more beautiful at this exact moment in time.

Be peace friends.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

So I am officially in contract on 255 S. Yale.

The process was interesting and surprisingly quick . . . everything in happened in the less than two weeks.

As of right now, the plan is to close on November 9th.

So about a month from now 255 S. Yale will be my home . . . a home I will share with my mom who is moving here from New York.

I have thought a lot about the significance of buying this house . . . what it says about my life . . . and my future.

Among other things it means I am rooted here . . . rooted in life, rooted in family, rooted in Franklinton . . . and I really happy about all that.

If you had told me three years ago I would be buying a house here in Columbus . . . I would have laughed in your face.

But the truth is . . . now . . . I could not be more excited.

Good things are happening . . . good things are going to continue to happen.

Be Peace.

Monday, October 01, 2007

So I just put an offer in on this house . . . .

What do you think?

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Charlie Hall has a new CD out called "Flying Into Daybreak".

I have been listening to it quite a bit lately, especially track number nine.

There is one line . . . "You bring daybreak in the night." . . . that keeps repeating in my mind.

Yesterday afternoon I traveled down to Oxford to have dinner with some friends.

I took this photo on the way home this morning.

I think the imagery of daybreak in the night is very fitting for the thoughts I processed on my way home this morning.

My cover got blown last night . . . and I did not even know I had been "under cover".

The friends I have down in Oxford have come to know me well over the last year . . . well enough to "call me out" last night.

I was surprised . . . but very grateful.

It would seem that I was trying to hide behind a lie . . . instead of living out what know God is asking of me.

The conversation we had over dinner and then "tetonka" brownies prepared the way for my daybreak.

I think I am no longer in search of resurrection . . .

. . . I think I am in the process of coming alive.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Three years ago this night . . . probably close to this very hour . . . I was sitting on my friend Christa's couch wondering if I had made the right decision.

I had made it half way on my mini journey of a lifetime to Columbus, Ohio to start a new chapter of my life . . . and I was starting to get scared.

She told me that everything was going to be fine . . . that I had a life full of mystery and adventure ahead of me.

As it turns out things have been more than fine . . . and there has been plenty of adventure.

If you know me, you know I am date person . . . my life, my memories are all cataloged by date and sometimes even time.

So as I come up on three years of life in Columbus I have been thinking a lot about the life I have here and how I came about having it.

And it happens, that any time I take to reflect on my life here . . . I think about how I got here.

Which leads to me think about my dear friend Mark Palmer . . . and my heart gets a little heavier.

I have spent a lot of time thinking about Mark this week . . . thinking about the life he asked me to come be a part of . . . the life I have created for myself amongst the people here in Columbus.

When I spoke at his memorial service . . . I said I would never take this life that he gave me for granted.

And I really hope that I have held true to that statement.

Because it really is a beautiful life that I have here . . . filled with some of the most beautiful people . . . who have changed me so much.

I have learned so much about love, relationships, community and family in the last three years . . . I have grown so much because of these people . . . because of this life.

My hope is to grow and live and experience so much more here . . . because though I have been here for three years . . . I plan on being here for many, many more.

It has been three long and beautiful years.

And here is what I know . . I am not going anywhere . . . I am rooted . . . I am home.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

A year and a half later I am still learning about grief.

There is more to come on this line of thought . . . just not tonight.

Monday, September 03, 2007

"May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships, so that you may live deep within your heart. May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace. May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer from pain, rejection, starvation, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain into joy. And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done."
~A Franciscan Blessing~

Walk bravely. Christ is in you.

Friday, August 31, 2007

Some people might dread driving twenty minutes home most nights.

I have come to treasure the time I spend driving on 670 each evening.

Most nights I get to see the sun set behind me as I drive.

But the view from my little Camry tonight was even more spectacular than all the sun sets I have seen in the last few weeks.

Tonight I saw a red moon rising.

I am not sure that anyone would out there would know just how significant that was for me . . . but I know the timing could not have been more perfect.

And I know that is just how God works.

Red moon rising . . . there is a red moon rising.