It feels like summer . . . and I like that feeling.

I want to learn to take things slower . . . to experience each moment as it comes.

I am trying to write more about each day as it passes . . . so I can look back and remember what it is I spent my time doing . . . how I let my life unfold as each day passed.

Here are some things I want to remember about today :

-Singing "Flood" by Jars of Clay at the top of my lungs while driving NWCCC's 15 passenger van to pick up some toys for the classrooms.

-Having a vanilla milk shake with Micah Palmer.

-Building with Micah's magnets while watching "Boy Meets World" in the backroom . . . that's some hard core therapy right there.

-Sharing some pizza with Debby, Kerri and the boys at Easton.

-Watching Riley & Trey play in the fountains.

-Taking a walk with Heather and talking in my usual circles.

-Realizing that not only do I sound "good" . . . but I really am okay . . . maybe even both types of okay.


This is all good . . . very, very good.

What a weekend . . .

It was certainly nice to have my mom in for a visit . . . though I don't recommend shopping for curtains to anyone. I really enjoy the time I get to spend with my mom . . . and I truly wish I got to do it more often. Thanks for putting up with me for the weekend Mom and for all the things you did around my apartment.

I ended this lovely Memorial Day weekend in Gahanna yesterday with the Pressley family. I enjoyed relaxing the afternoon away in their new three season room/deck. I also got the privilege of blowing up a three ring kiddie pool (with my own hot air) and cleaning their bathroom. But the highlight of the day was probably hanging out with this little boy and his big brother . . .

These guys are easily my new favorite band . . . I have only been listening to them for like a week . . . but I am loving them . . . big time.

I am excited that it is Friday . . . it has been a really good week.

It will be good to spend some time with my mom this weekend . . . and I am super excited for her to see my new apartment for the first time.

Ah, the joys of "growing up".

In other fun news, I "cooked" for the first time last night. I know most people have trouble believing that, considering I run the kitchen at a daycare, but the daycare is mainly food preparation, not really cooking. So for the first time last night I attempted cooking an actual meal . . . pineapple fried rice (a delicious meal I had while staying with the Evans in San Diego) . . . and I did it. And not only did I do it, but it actually tasted good.

Yesterday was simply a really good day, here is the breakdown :

-Work was really good . . . just the right amount of busy.
-I had lunch with Amy and we had a really good discussion on "The Resurrection of the Son of God".
-I spent most of the afternoon at 827 NW Blvd hanging with the Stetlers . . . which is always an enjoyable way to spend my day.
-Enjoyed a delicious pineapple themed meal with my community. We had grilled chicken (marinated in pineapple), veggies, pineapple fried rice, pineapple upside down cake, grapes and watermelon (the taste of summer).
-Listened and slightly particpated in a discussion about globalization, taking action and life in general.
-Finished the evening up with the hanging of a "darkening shade" in Baby Evan's room . . . I am so excited to meet him . . . he will be here two weeks from today.

The day was such a clear picture of the beauty in my life.

It is Thursday at 5:20am.

I am running late to work.

I am tired this morning . . . but eager to get my day moving.

My to-do list for the next two days feels very long.

My mom is coming to visit for the weekend . . . I am excited for this.

The longer I sit here the later I get.

Peace.


~The act of being understood is probably one of the greatest gifts one could ever receive.~

I have been home from trip to San Diego for over a week now and still haven't gotten around to writing about each day of my trip. And it is not that my trip was not excellent, because believe me it was. It is just since I have been back my head has kind of been in funny places.

I feel as though I have been trapped inside my head more this past week than I have all year. And that frustrates me to no end. Because it sucks to be trapped in my head, to think too much, to get cynical and frustated, to just want to give it all up. I walk in circles and talk in circles and don't seem to accomplish much. But it will be okay, my head will settle down eventually and I am sure I will have learned something from all of it . . . that is just nature of my life these days . . . sometimes things just suck and I just need to be able to learn something or take something from it all in the end.

I just spent the last few hours working on a picture collage for the wall in my new living room (only two months after I moved in). And as I finished up putting the last picture in its frame, I was hit once again with the reality that I would not know a single one of these people if it was not for some crazy church planter who asked me to move here and learn about community and following Jesus, over a year and a half ago.

I value very deeply the gift of my life here in Columbus . . . and during weeks like this one it is sometimes hard to see the beauty of my life and the people in it . . . but at the end of the day I know the beauty is there, whether I choose to recognize and honor it or not.

My life is beautiful . . . the people in my life are beautiful . . . even when I feel ugly.

"It happened so quickly after taking so long."

I miss Mark Palmer.

There may be hope . . . but there is still great sadness.

Friday, May 12th 2006
~The Highlights~

-Having lunch with the Evans' family in San Diego's "Little Italy" and meeting Paige & Matt for the first time.

-A walking tour of South Park, the neighborhood that the Evans' family and the Hawthorne House communtiy call home.

-Eating a very healthy and delicious dinner of "Savory Oats" . . . that's right, oatmeal for dinner.

-Meeting Ms. Emily Semer for the first time . . . we've been long distance friends (with similar stories) for a few months now. It was awesome to finally meet her . . . really awesome.

-A really great first day in a beautiful state . . .

Yesteday afternoon I got to hang out with some of the coolest kids I know.

Between my regular work day and church dinner I stopped by 827 Northwest Blvd and spent some time with the Stetler Family (minus Eric).

I missed them while I was away . . . it was good to be with them yesterday. It was good to spin Riley around and throw him on the couch and to do the same to Trey when we woke up from his nap. It was good to laugh at how much Trey resembled the gorilla on the t-shirt I got him at the San Diego Zoo. It was good to play "Ring Around the Rosie" & catch with Trey in the backyard as we listened to see where the thunder was coming from. It was good to hear them laugh and see them smile. It was good to catch up Kerri, to talk about the last five days, tell her about my trip and hear how she was doing. It was also good to see Debby for a little while too. Those boys . . . that family . . . are such a very important part of my life.

They make my life beautiful.

I am home.

It was quite a trip, but I arrived home safely last night around 6pm. I shared a meal with Mike, Lianne and Corbin, stopped by and said hello to the Stetler's, hung out for a bit, unpacked and got to talk to the wonderful Heather Hofacre. It was a good night.

Also, in the good news department, I am currently up and running with my cell phone. Granted it is my old one, which isn't the greatest piece of equipment, but it is something. Hopefully a replacement phone will be on its way before long.

I still have much to say about my trip to San Diego. On the plane ride home I wrote down each days events in my journal (I don't have any interest in forgetting my time there) and realized just how much stuff I did while in the beautiful city of San Diego. So my hope is to break down my trip day by day in a series of posts . . . I just know you will be on the edge of your seat to see what I write about next.

Before I run out the door to work, I need to give a quick shout out to the Evan's family and their community for their amazing hospitality . . . you guys rock! Thank you so much for everything. I had an amazing time.

Peace out for now.

I lost my cell phone on Saturday night . . . so my service has been temporarily suspended until I get it replaced. So if you are trying to get a hold of me . . . email is the safest bet for at least the next week or so.

I return home from San Diego tomorrow . . . there is much to share about my time here.

However, tonight I just want to share a quote I read earlier this evening:

"Healing comes to the broken places first."

That's all for now.

Peace.

A beautiful Thursday . . . minus the rain and colder weather . . . it has been a beautiful day.

Presence . . . being in the presence of good people . . . people who love me. . . people with whom I can simply be . . . saved me today . . . saved me this week.

Simple presence . . . has been a very beautiful gift to me lately. In my less than happier moments this week, I've made the choice to simply be around people . . . and it has totally made the difference. And it wasn't about having some deep and heavy conversation . . . or letting the darkness that has been rolling around inside out (though I am sure I could have done that if I needed to) . . . it was just about being with people.

About taking a walk to the park and racing down the slide.

About sharing a meal with family.

About losing horribly at "PIG" . . . but laughing hard . . . as I made feeble attempts at making a shot.

About conversation about the little things . . . the daily grind of life.

About building a block tower and watching Spiderman climb to the top.

About walking to the pizza store . . . a new and fabulous tradition.

About good friends and good conversation.

About helping clean up at the end of the night.

About a simple ride home in the rain.


Presence . . .

It's Monday morning . . .

If I had stayed in college, I would have graduated this past Saturday . . . I spent some time thinking about that this weekend. Thinking about how different my life is now than I thought it would be when I was an eighteen year old freshman at Zion Bible Institute. So much has changed since that time in my life . . . I know that may seem a little crazy seeing as it has only been three years . . . but these last three years have been the most transforming years of my life thus far.

There are so many thoughts to think here . . . so many things to process and sift through.

But all things considered, I don't really have any regrets . . .

Yeah, no regets.

This is the good life . . .

In the seventh grade I had a teacher named Mrs. Sweitzer.

She was the permanent substitute for my study skills class.

She taught me things like SQ3R and words like "reiterate".

Her eighteen year old son died in a tragic car accident around Christmas that year.

I went to the wake, it was very sad.

Every day for lunch she would pack two Raspberry Nutrigrain bars.

That was the first time I had ever had a nutrigrain bar.

I had lunch in her room every day, sometimes sitting in her closet.

I usually sat on the second shelf up, with the door closed.

At first she thought it was strange, but later on she understood.

Her closet, oddily enough was a safe place for me.

I was pretty "troubled" in the seventh grade.

I would sit there in silence for the whole lunch period.

I would sometimes even go in there when my classwork was done and just "be".

I've only seen her once since the seventh grade.

It was the end of 10th grade and during final exams, I had my license and everything.

I drove to her house, which I would pass everyday on the way school.

She showed me around her home, as she talked about her son and his friends.

I sat and played with her dog, Captain Courageous for a little bit.

I had met the good Captain before, she had brought him into school once for some sort of writing exercise.

She said she only wanted good things for me and to call her if I ever needed anything, anything at all.

I have not seen or spoken with her since.

She is a peaceful memory in a sea of sad and painful ones.