I am going to Mexico tomorrow.

Fourteen individuals, including myself, will be going on a work and witness trip with Northwest Church of the Nazarene.

We are headed to the southern most part of Mexico . . . around Tuxtla and Chiapas.

The plan for the time spent there includes a few medical clinics and helping the locals build a church.

This is my first missions “endeavor” is over four years.

My worldview has shifted back and forth a lot in the last couple of years . . . I am interested to see what kind of experience this trip will be for me.

I have a sneaking suspscion that it is going to change me . . . being face to face with reality often has that effect on me.

Wish me well dear friends . . . I shall return in ten days.

I believe it is time that I started to take care of myself.

This is my journey. . . my life.

It is directed by my decisions . . . my choices.

My happiness and my healing are my own responsibility.

The rest of the world might just have to take care of itself for a little while.

Here I go . . .

I have been asking a lot of questions lately.

Some of them I have shared with other people . . . but mostly I have been asking myself.

I am okay with all the questions.

I am okay with that place I am at despite how ugly I feel inside sometimes.

I am okay because I know that asking questions like these has never steered me wrong before.

It may have changed my direction and upset the delicate balance of my routined life . . . but never steered me wrong.

So I am really am okay with all the questions.

And for now, I am okay with not having all the answers.

I had lunch at Johnny Rockets today.

I sat at the counter and ordered a regular burger and a plate of 1/2 rings and 1/2 fries.

There is nothing all that spectacular about the food there . . . I only go there to remember.

I was first introduced to Johnny Rockets at the Providence Place Mall.

I began my job there at Old Navy in August of 2002.

I had just started school at Zion Bible Institute in Barrington, Rhode Island.

I have been thinking alot about how pivotal that year I spent in Rhode Island has been to my life.

I don't think I realized then or even in the last few years how much that year changed me.

When I take the time to sit and remember that year it almost feels a little foreign . . . like I am remembering someone elses life.

That year was intense and heavy . . . filled with more questions than answers . . . if I had only known then that it was a only a foretaste of what was to come . . . who knows if I would have kept going.

To some that year of my life is when I began to "back-slide" . . . when things that I had been okay with for me entire life, suddenly just weren't enough.

My life forced me to be the bravest I had ever been that year . . . but I think that is only because I was the most terrified I had ever been in my life . . . scared to death about the choices I was making and this new direction my life seemed to be taking.

As I sit here and trace hundreds of moments . . . hundreds of memories through my mind . . . I know two things.

I would never want to relive that year of my life . . . but I don't regret a moment of it.

Sure, I made a ton of mistakes . . . I probably could have gained even more from that year of my life had I just been a little more open . . . but I know that kind of openness had to come in time . . . my own time.

I know it must seem strange for all of this to come to my mind when I have lunch at Johnny Rocket's . . . but that it just the kind of unique memory association that my life is built around.

I am glad I had lunch at Johnny Rocket's today.

I am grateful to be able to remember.