Yesterday was the first time I had been there in over six months.
I drive past that place every day on the way to work . . . but have not been since the day after Mandy & Fez got married.
I don't think I have quite figured out why it is I go there . . . I am sure I could attempt to name a bunch of different reasons . . . and though they would all be appropriate . . . none of them would really fit.
I went after I got off work yesterday and just sat there on the grass.
Sat there and remembered that day . . . the tent that surrounded the area . . . the casket . . . all of the people . . . the tears . . . the disbelief.
I ran through a couple of dozen "what if's" . . . questioning how things would be different . . . how I would be different.
There is no doubt that I miss him . . . no doubt as to how his life and his death have impacted my little world.
I spent a lot of today thinking about the kingdom.
I listened to a few lectures that Mark gave for Underground Seminary . . . he was such a passionate teacher.
I wish he was still here to teach me . . . I feel as though I have so much left to learn.
My head has the potential to be spinning in circles right now . . . there are so many thoughts . . . so many memories . . . so many questions.
But in the end . . . I know that I miss him . . . and that the fact that it has been an entire year . . . it just does not seem possible.
At the memorial service, I said that I would never take this life for granted . . . this life given to me by Mark Palmer, when he asked me to move her over two and a half years ago.
I hope I have held true to that statement . . . this life . . . this community is a beautiful gift . . . that I would not know if it weren't for Mark.
One year.
"It happened so quickly . . . after taking so long."