So lets talk about the last few days. The big news is that I got a job. It is back into the retail world for me. I will be starting my fabulous part time job at Old Navy on Friday. The whole getting a job thing was definetly a highlight of the last forty-eight hours. It is one less thing to be overwhelmed with or over think about.

I also got the privilege of checking out Underground Seminary last night. The study was on Paul & Politics. Definetly learned about a lot of things that I had never even given thought to before. And there is most definetly a lot more thinking and studying to be done.

As for an update on my losing battle, it is still definetly a heated fight. There are some moments when I am doing really well and others where I contemplate the idea of leaving. Not that leaving would do me any good, cause all leaving would be mean is that I ran away from the things that I could not deal with, and the feelings I just did not want to feel.

I am scared of being vulnerable, scared of opening up, scared I won't have much to say . . . or much to say that makes any sense.

This all just feels really hard . . .