One the biggest reasons my life is so beautiful is because Mark Palmer was a part of it.

In seven days it will be six months since he passed away.

I just cannot believe it will be six months.

I miss him . . . alot.

As I feel my life being connected deeper and deeper into the life of the Landing Place community . . . I miss him even more.

When he invited me to move out here over two years ago, I don't think I really knew exactly what I was getting into. But here I am . . . still here two years later . . . and I am pretty sure I am almost entirely a different person then the one he corresponded with in the Summer of 2004.

I wish Mark could be here . . . to see the change that has happened in my life, even in just the last few months. I wish he could have seen more of who I was becoming . . . as he invested so much in that process.

I wish Mark could be here for the community . . . for Amy . . . for Micah.

I just wish he was still here . . . and he isn't . . . and it sucks.

You would think after six months it would seem more real . . . in some ways it does . . . but sometimes I still cannot comprehend it . . . I cannot process the images in my mind from his hospital room . . . from the burial . . . my mind and my heart cannot make sense of it all.

Six months . . . I just don't understand.