Three weeks really isn't really that long of a time period. Not much time at all, yet it feels like an eternity. Like each day that passes, each day that I can add on to the time span is a great victory. It has been three weeks and one day. And like I said, it feels like an eternity. I pretty much think about it every day, telling myself it has been one more day and that I will make it through another.

Relationships are hard. At least they are for me. Anything that seems to matter to me in life comes with a great cost. The relationships that matter take a lot of work. Work that I am sometimes unwilling to do or maybe I am unable. I like to drift off to the place in my head where I allow myself to just exist, no working or trying or pushing forward, just simply being. But that is generally a place of solitude or even lonliness. You can't have people in your life if you don't work at it.

All in all life has been pretty calm lately. Well at least in the day to day movement of it all. Other than being asked some big questions in the last couple of weeks and dealing with effects of their heavy answers, I would say I am doing pretty okay. I actually have not decided yet whether or not I will actual deal with the questions that have been asked of me lately, cause I do have the option to ignore them for the time being. And ignoring them at this particular moment in my life, would actually not be that big of deal, cause only the person that asked them and one other friend knows what they are. It would be perfectly acceptable to not even think about them again, no one would be dissappointed, well maybe they would be a little, but only because they know me to be a person that has not backed down from any challenge of dealing with uncomfortable shit that has come across my path in the last three years. I have always tried to be a person that has moved forward with my life, with the things that need to be dealt with, despite how they make me feel. Being that type of person is the reason I made my way out to Columbus.

I know I have been extremely vague in this post and I don't really care. I needed to write this for myself, to put down in writing some of the intensity that has been happening in my head. And now I think am done.

Peace.