Different?

I have a friend who is setting off on a new adventure in the coming weeks. I suppose I don't know her all that well, we have worked together for the last eight months, but I think we only started talking two or three months ago. In a couple of weeks she is leaving behind her life in Columbus and heading out west to Portland, Oregon. And though I have only really known her for a few months, I really do believe I am going to miss her.

The adventure she is heading off on, is similar to the one I embarked on almost a year ago. She is headed out to a place she has only been once, she has not found a place to live or work quite yet. But she is going, cause she's knows that is what she needs to do right now. Sure, my situation was a little different, I came out here because I wanted to be a part of a community of people that followed Jesus called the Landing Place. And so I knew I was not alone in my journey here. But like my friend, I had to start over, create a new life, find out who I was among a new group of people, in a place that held no history or comfort for me. And that was not easy . . . and in some ways I am still in doing all of that a year later.

My friends imminent departure has made me reflect quite a bit on my own journey. There are still days when I pause for a moment and look at my life and wonder how it is I got here and what exactly is it that I am doing. There are days when I get frustrated with the lack of connection I feel . . . feeling as though it might just be impossible to create a history here. A lot times the relationships in my life feel inconsistent . . . sporadically mixed in with the to-do list of every day life. Sometimes I feel like there should just be more, since I have been here almost 365 days. But there is not. Life is what it is and the days keep moving forward, and there always seems to be something to do or get done, and my life carries on.

It is not easy, living this life, sometimes it is pretty damn hard. Sometimes things don't work out they you want them to. Maybe that is why it is not all that smart to expect things from life, cause you will inevitably be disappointed.

Do I sometimes wish my life here was different than it is? Sure. But I don't regret my decision to move here . . . and I hope my friend does not regret hers.